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[lightlessflame]

"..."

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[sathan]

It begins on the twenty-first.

( and when she'll really 'celebrate' )

That's what all of this is in aid of. Preparations.

( like that wonderful smell coming from her kitchen. gingerbread )

[lightlessflame]

I see. Will you tell me more about it? I'd like to know.

[Because it's something that it appears means a lot to Lilith. Agnes has heard of the word before, of course, of the holiday, but as it was never anything relevant to her, she never looked into it. She hardly knows anything about standard Christmas, for that matter. The Cult of the Lightless Flame weren't really big on the man upstairs.]

[sathan]

Of course, though--

( her hand slips from agnes' as she stands, leaving the candle burning, letting it continue the work of her spell, the flame still flickering. there's an indication, a small gesture for the redhead to follow her as lilith walks the short distance into her kitchen, picking up a handtowel to take her first set of cookies from the oven, laying them on the cooling rack as she adds the next batch in )

Solstice is a time typically recognised by witches, though some mortals also choose it. It's the longest night of the year, said to be when the Sun God was born and the days started getting longer.

( whether or not she believes the part about the sun god is something else given her views on religion but-- )

I take it as a time for reflection, shedding some of the past in order to move forward into the next solar year.

[lightlessflame]

[A time for reflection. Agnes watches Lilith tend to her baking, a thoughtful expression on her stoic face.]

Is it so simple, to rid yourself of the past?

[sathan]

You never completely can, nor should you.

( there were parts of your past that could be useful, things you still needed )

But we can separate things that trouble us, find resolutions to them. A little-- closure.

[lightlessflame]

[Agnes nods slowly, getting a somewhat far away look on her face as she considers this. She wonders if it's something she's capable of doing...supposes there isn't any harm in trying. But what if it upsets her, and she causes harm in some way she doesn't mean?]

What other traditions are there?

[sathan]

On the eve of the Solstice I burn a yule log, to help keep wayward spirits at bay.

( but as for her own traditions that's about as far as it goes )

Most witches spend it with those they care for. Connecting with them, perhaps even sharing a gift.

[lightlessflame]

[The thought causes Agnes to smile faintly, but there's a sadness in it. The sadness, of course, of someone who has never experienced such things.]

That sounds very nice.

[sathan]

( the truth of it is lilith's never had anyone to spend it with either. those years with lucifer-- he wasn't a witch, didn't have such a cheery mood and her own traditions became private, almost hidden from him.

the sad smile of the woman in front of her, her recent pain and starting to heal-- )

You could join me.

( if she felt inclined. a light offer, no expectation. but agnes's company was nice hence why she'd been allowed to see even this )

[lightlessflame]

[The offer takes her by surprise. There's an almost childlike excitement that lights up her face, but she pulls it back, too unused to such sentiment.]

You'd want me there?

[sathan]

I've not spent the Solstice with another.

( and recently she felt a little better in company than without it. considering she'd be reflecting in this time-- she didn't want to be too lost in her sadness )

And I admit that I've enjoyed your company.

( hence why she keeps coming back. she's just not great at verbally sharing positivity )

[lightlessflame]

[With that admission, Agnes allows herself to be more properly thrilled about the prospect. A holiday with someone. A celebration. Her expression looks so warm.]

I've enjoyed your company as well. Yes, I would like to join you.

[sathan]

( a fond smile comes to her and lilith finds that she's far more pleased about this than she would have expected, it warming her in a way that she hadn't expected. perhaps agnes just has that effect on people )

There isn't much more that I have to do today. The cookies and the spell are the last that I can do until the Solstice.

( but she hadn't invited agnes over just to send her away. she just-- doesn't know where to lead. she isn't used to having guests )

But-- I'm certain there's something to do to fill the evening.

( her mind isn't even going there. yet )

[lightlessflame]

As long as it’s with you, I’ll be content.

[Agnes says it so unabashed, as if it’s the easiest admission. She looks around the room again, smile now stuck on her face.]

Is anything here a particular favorite of yours?

[sathan]

( there's a small hum as she thinks )

When I'm home-- it's usually to be alone. Most people I may meet-- ( or become intimate with ) I do so outside of this cottage.

( which means that there's a very small number that's been here. or even knows where she lives. lilith also doesn't spend a great deal of time here. she's not good at not having something to do )

Here-- I read.

( though it's not typically fiction. when they go back through to the living room agnes will note that most of her books are magical or historical texts, a variety of languages amongst them. sadly the contents of them aren't quite what lilith wanted due to the nature of this place but there is at least some information and insights within them )

[lightlessflame]

Would you mind if I looked through them? I'll keep my gloves on, of course.

[But she's curious. She wants to see what Lilith's magics look like in text.]

[sathan]

Of course.

( there's a slight nod of her head, letting agnes go back through to the other room. for the moment she'll finish with her cookies, starting to box up the first batch now that they'd cooled a little, waiting for the second batch to come out and be boxed up before she joins her, giving her around thirty minutes to peruse her library )

[lightlessflame]

[When Lilith returns, Agnes is stooped over a book of magic, studying it with such intensity one would think that she actually knows how to read it. She doesn't, of course, but it intrigues her all the same. She thinks about the tome that Jon had, when he asked her to burn him. If that spell worked, does that mean anyone can learn? Does she have a proclivity for magic by virtue of what she is, or would she need to be something different altogether? When she hears Lilith grow closer, she speaks lowly without looking up.]

I've always found it fascinating that one could live forever and still find something new to learn.

[sathan]

( that's a statement that lilith deeply feels and perhaps one day she'll tell agnes more about it )

The world is constantly changing. Each day there is something new.

( she sits on the couch, watching the woman's curiosity )

You showed me something new.

[lightlessflame]

Have I?

[That makes her pause, and she looks up and toward Lilith, a small smile lighting the corners of her lips.]

[sathan]

Partly with your powers but with whi you are as well.

( the first went without saying but there was so much more to her )

You have such a kindness in you despite what has been done to you.

( and it was beautiful. lilith was awed by it and also enamored, particularly when she felt that kindness )

[lightlessflame]

[Slowly, Agnes' smile falls again. Her brows furrow, her expression becoming melancholic and troubled. She looks back toward the book again, closing it.]

I'm not kind. Not really.

[sathan]

No?

( there's a frown in her expression, lilith finding the idea difficult with what she knows about the woman )

You've given me something that I could never have asked for. Something that you didn't need to. What was that if not a kindness?

[lightlessflame]

[She can't argue that she hasn't been kind, so it's hard for Agnes to know exactly how to reply. She takes a slow breath.]

I simply mean...I've done very unkind things. I'm afraid the hurt I cause outweighs any of the actions I make that attempt to do the opposite. What I am...sometimes, even attempts to be kind only ultimately bring suffering.

[sathan]

What you are-- or what others have made you into?

( there's a note of sadness in her tone, something that really connects with it as if she knows. whilst lilith won't ever feel guilty about her actions she knows that a lot have caused others pain )

The actions you choose for yourself aren't those which others have twisted your hand into. Even kind people can do unkind things but it doesn't make them cruel or monstrous.

( words that could be closer attributed to herself )